Do you remember your parents being strict while growing up? Do you support or criticize strict parenting, are you being a strict parent, and do you think kids will gain more benefits from strict parents?
Children are fostered better by having strict parents, according to scientists!
A study was done in 2015 by a professor named Ericka Rascon-Ramirez, in the Institute for Social and Economic Research, University of Essex, where the professor said:
“This study was done to see the aspirations and beliefs of the possibility of a child to get a higher education, according to the parents, which in most cases is the mother.”
This study included 15,500 schoolgirls at the age of 13 and 14, and the study has shown that, the girls who had strict mothers were more confident, secure and respectful.
Also according to the study, the girls who had strict mothers were more likely to finish their education, find a job and have a nice and successful life, on the other hand, the girls who’s mothers were persistent and nagging, they had a 4% more chance to get pregnant and not get their education.
“Even if we did what we taught was better for us, and that was against our parents will, those times were 1% of our decisions we made. 99% of the important decisions were done with the help of our parents. No matter how much your child is going against your will, if you are a strict parent, your child will be influenced by your will, and will accept your ways of thinking…
Many of our decisions about conceiving a child or not, during the most turbulent teenage period, was very familiar to our parents.”
So don’t worry, if you are a strict parent, and you are keeping the parent pressure, your kids are more likely to finish their education and have a successful career and life.
Some psychotherapists like Philippa Perry think that, strict parenting is bad, because if the child is feeling scared, and unsecure to tell the truth, he will become a liar and he will not be telling the truth.
These things can be a result of a child being embarrassed in front of others, putted the pressure to be perfect, excessive discipline etc.
“You are doing the kid no favor if you start yelling at him or punishing him for the lie. You should be interested and curious why your kid lied to you, find out why did it didn’t have the courage to tell the truth, is it feeling insecure and scared, and if it does, why.”
To guide your child to become a better person, and always tell you the truth, you should find a middle ground to stimulate him not to fear you but to respect you.
Asian-American parents are very strict, they still believe in punishment and reward methods. This is why their children are more intelligent than other students, especially in math and science.
Having high standards, but still being warm, communicative and honest with your child, only this may gain you authority without punishment.
Below are the differences between permissive and authoritarian parenting:
In permissive parenting:
- There are no healthy limits, therefore the children don’t learn self-management.
- Parents keep accepting compromises, even in situations where they shouldn’t.
- No tolerance is shown of legitimate feeling, like disappointment or sadness.
- At someone’s else expense, all the children’s desires must be accomplished and fulfilled.
In authoritarian parenting:
- Children believe that the use of power is right, because of the strict discipline.
- The relationships between the child and the parent are based on lack of empathy and fear.
- Rebellious children can be made only by excessive discipline.
- Children are only “good” when they are surrounded by authority, and are prone to use themselves with lies.
Parents should avoid both of these sides because they are very extreme, and should replace both of these sides with authoritative parenting. They should not forget about the empathy, and should set healthy limits.
Always keep balance, even when you are strict to your child, you can still show love and warmth, still you are affecting your dearest ones with these steps.